If you lean left and you’ve spent any time on the internet in the past year, odds are you’ve been called a cuck. Somehow, a woman’s unfaithfulness to her husband is the greatest insult to one’s dignity in alt-right communities. The worst fate that a proud deplorable can face is to be made a cuckold by their spouse.
This makes the bizarre case of Ayla, known on Twitter and WordPress as “Wife With A Purpose,” so much more baffling. For a couple of years, she’s spread a vitriolic anti-LGBT message while advocating, in her terminology, for “traditional values.” She’s taken up the mantle of the female, Mormon Alt-Right. The strange quirk in her identity as a maternal gay-bashing white-pride crusader, according to previous blog posts, is that not only has Ayla dated women, she cheated on her husband with a woman.
In a blog post made by Ayla nine years ago, she recounts an interview she had with an elder of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints prior to her baptism. In this interview, she confessed to the elder that she had engaged in a homosexual relationship outside of her marriage to her husband Seth.
In her recounting, while hinting that she had other romantic relationships with women previously, Ayla states that she would not engage in any further extramarital, homosexual activity. Relationships with women were apparently not something uncommon for her. In a blog post from January 2008, she describes dating a woman who enjoyed dressing up.
So how did this Ayla become the person known as @APurposefulWife on Twitter today?
In October of 2015, before the bitterest stages of the U.S. Presidential election, Ayla delineated her view on homosexuality in a video entitled “White Kids, Their Cultural Vacuum & How Gay Culture Fills It.” She laments how many young people can fall into a gay lifestyle, saying “You had culture that was given to you if you were gay, and you had otherness. You had a reason to feel unique and separated from the rest of the world and special, and something to fight for, something to give your life meaning.”
She offers these thoughts, before stopping herself and saying, “This is not a part of my life that I normally think about, so I’m just kind of almost embarrassed to admit, and like I said I was very liberal.”
There’s almost a tenderness for her these memories amidst all the shame, something you wouldn’t expect from someone whose regular posts resemble the following:
Not to mention these:
But her personal history, as described in her previous blog “Mother, Lover, Goddess,” makes a mockery of her newly found alt-right values. Her stated views on homosexuality have drastically changed since her days as a newly converted Mormon, clearly. But once, they were a major obstacle to her conversion to the Mormon faith.
Following her interview process, Ayla describes her frustration with the Church’s stance on gay marriage, even as she is being confirmed.
She describes rushing out of the service, before returning to be confirmed, and finally enduring through the following classes.
In the final paragraphs of this emotionally charged and vulnerable blog post, Ayla describes the car ride home, explaining her feelings to her children and relying on her spouse.
How did someone like this, an LGBT-ally who herself had homosexual relationships, even being unfaithful to her spouse to pursue a sexual relationship with a woman, turn into such a rabid hater of the LGBT community?
It’s difficult to forgive Ayla for the hate she has spread online as @APurposefulWife. And with this additional knowledge of her background, it’s easy to accuse her not only of hypocrisy, but treachery. The LGBT community she used to defend and identify with is now one that she lambasts on a 24/7 basis, from the bully pulpit of her regrettably verified Twitter account. But somehow, it seems like there’s more to this story–just branding her a homophobe and moving on doesn’t suffice.
Does Ayla deserve our sympathy as another casualty of a homophobic religious culture? Is her story the story of a closeted queer person who’s had to repress their sexuality to conform to the tenets of their faith and the expectations of their community? What responsibility does a bisexual person have to represent and respect the LGBT community as a whole, and not just disappear into the comfort of the heterosexual world when it suits them?
I’m curious to hear arguments for both sides. For now, I can only say Ayla presents a startling case study in the kinds of compromises a religious devotee must make to feel like they belong. And the Alt-Right movement, with some personal reconfiguration, has fit Ayla like a glove. Even if she had to “cuck” around to get there.
Link to a pdf of the archived blog posts used below: